Happy into the year

I’ve been busy. Clearly.

The remaining 10 items I’m adding to my 50 ways to happy are definitely worth presenting.

Actually, having time between turning 50 and getting closer to 51 has clarified the last 10 reasons for my happy. I really want you to think about these next 5 items and consider how they impact your life and fulfillment.

Here we go.

5 words that embody my way of living a happier life.


I teach exercise to 100s of women (and dudes) every week. They are not just faces and bodies to me. I learn their names, listen to their life stories, vault their secrets. Being connected to other people is how I see my life as valuable past an egocentric lie.

My connection to my students and clients has deepened my ability to feel and love. It has increased my empathy. It has shortened my distance to loneliness. It has increased my ability to feel love and know that I am loved.


Michelle Bernard: the D word from Michelle Bernard on Vimeo.


Okay, here’s the deal. I welcome DISCIPLINE and COMMITMENT because I am terrified of REGRET.

I don’t own any REGRET. I’d rather be scared than regretful. I’d rather be overwhelmed and busy than regretful. I’d rather be humiliated than regretful. I know how that sounds.

Humiliation really sucks. But humiliation doesn’t last as long as regret. People remember the energy you bring forth in your/their now more than the stuff you put in front of them in the past.

44. NOW

Live in the now and plan for the future.

Regret gets a lot of air when you stand craning your neck over your shoulder.

Look forward. Dream yourself totally alive. Journal your goals. See them fulfilled.

Your now-steps will move with pep. Try it.


Your imagination can penetrate your reality. It always does.

Whatever you rehearse the most in your mind, you will make your reality.

I know this now.

If you don’t know it, pay attention to the images, beliefs, and outcomes you keep rehearsing.

You can imagine your life amazing.

More Ways to HAPPY

Since my birthday 4 weeks ago, I’ve been journaling about how I rose to this feeling of happy.


I didn’t feel so good 8 years ago. I was frustrated, though no one knew it. I smiled all the time, but inside I wasn’t content with my life experience.

It was puzzling.

I had a great one bedroom apartment in New York city, an adorable puppy, a couple very close friends, and a job that was fulfilling.

Years of journaling showed me what was missing.

I wanted life to be linear. I believed my life was supposed to be lived like rungs on a ladder.


I made a dance video one afternoon. I danced my emotion out for 4 minutes and afterward I bathed in sweat and joy. The next week I did it again. After several more, I named the collection of VIDS: Celebration of Life series.

When I decided to celebrate life, every part of my life, every emotion, every experience, every day; my happy returned.

Life isn’t a ladder. It’s simply a celebration.

I’ve decided to share 5 ways that I celebrate my happy over 10 weeks of posts.

This is week 4. I’m posting 5 more ways below–numbers 16-20.

I’ll be adding 5 more next week.

As usual, let each group sink in. Read the other posts so you can see them all.
Ponder them. Practice them, if you want.
Maybe you’ll agree, maybe not. Maybe they’ll inspire you to add to my list.

Tell me what you think or add to my list in the comments section.

16.   You don’t have to hurt the person you once loved.

I had the best divorce ever last year. It was great because we are still friends. We talk on the phone for hours at a time–not often, but we still share important bits from our lives with each other.

Everyone promised the divorce process would last for years, I’d probably fight over money, we’d yell and say things we’d regret… I refused all of it.

I spoke directly to my ex-husband about creating an outcome that would please us both. He agreed.

Bitterness in relationships just messes people up for the next person who gets ’em.

In the past, I’ve been hurt by so many dudes, and I’ve done the hurting.

Enough. I want my ex-husband to feel good about himself when he moves on to his next relationship.

I feel great, too.


17.   Oooo, I do not like when people talk negatively about other people I know.

I understand that we all need to discharge our thoughts about people and situations. We need to talk to somebody if we’re afraid or frustrated. I get it.

But it’s totally obnoxious when the people you’re dissing are people I know!

Even though I do not like it, there’s something I can learn from it.

I’m learning that it looks ugly when folks put people down. I don’t want to look ugly that way.

Also, when I’m around this sort of conversation, I don’t say anything, I say something nice or… you know what?… I think I’ll just walk away.


18.   I love you used to be challenging to say. I wasn’t raised with those words.

The first time I said it was to my college boyfriend at age 20, and he had to give me 3 months to get all three words out together.

Now, I’m used to them. I have so many people I give those words to. This is one of the amazing ways I celebrate my life.


19. You can’t lose.

I’ve noticed that bitter people are the ones who think you can lose.

Everything you experience, whether liked or not liked, matters if you’re open to learning something new or willing to evolve something you’ve learned earlier.

We just keep collecting wins. It’s called wisdom.


20.   I pray about everything. EVERYTHING.

And because I believe in the prayers, because I expect them to be answered, they are. Not always in the way or shape I’ve asked, but they are always answered.

That’s why I’ve seen my share of miracles.

Most of them have been BIG.

The more I notice, the more I’ll notice.

Visit the other posts if you missed the first 15, and I’ll have more for you next week.

Till then,

Live above ordinary.

Michelle Bernard